Roaming through the internet, I stumble across The News Observer, a paper in North Carolina, and come across a title that reads: “Women accused of sexual assaults on UNC athletes.” I think: No way. Impossible. This is the coolest thing ever, something every guy has dreamed. Then I read the story, which has a few scary — and quite bizarre — happenings.

The players apparently met three women at a bar, went back to their place, and two of the players had consensual sex with the women. You can read the entire story here, but here are some of the insane things that went on.

The other two apparently had some consensual sexual contact with the women, but became uncomfortable and wanted to stop, Whitney said. At some point the players’ hands were bound with tape, Chapel Hill police said in a news release.

One of the players called 911, and police arrived about 3:30 a.m., finding two of the men in their boxers. The third player was clothed, Whitney said.

One player said when he asked a woman to stop touching him, both Taylor and Washington began punching him in the head, Whitney said.

In one account given in court Thursday, one player said Lewis stood naked with a butcher knife at his neck, that the player’s pants were pulled off and that someone tried to tie his hands with a belt.

Like I said: Fantasies gone bad. One moment you’re thinking there’s some good, kinky action going on, and the next second you’re tied up with a butcher knife to your neck begging them to stop touching you. Judging by the mug shot, there may have been some heroin and crystal meth involved. Just a guess.