We’ve all heard about Herschel Walker’s multiple personality disorder, but we maybe didn’t know the crazy extent to which it actually reached. In a recent article, Herschel admits to playing Russian roulette while dealing with his personality disorder.

“To challenge death like I was doing, you start saying, there’s a problem here,” Walker said in the interview.

“The logical side of me knew that what I was thinking of doing to this man — murdering him for messing up my schedule — wasn’t a viable alternative,” Walker wrote. “But another side of me was so angry that all I could think was how satisfying it would feel to step out of the car, pull out the gun, slip off the safety and squeeze the trigger.

“It would be no different from sighting on targets I’d fired at for years — except for the visceral enjoyment I’d get from seeing the small entry wound and the spray of brain tissue and blood — like a Fourth of July fireworks — exploding behind him.”

I’ve spoken with some people who are bi-polar, as well as people who have multiple identities. Thankfully, these people weren’t Herschel Walker, and they didn’t have a gun.