When I was younger, the only reason I watched the MLB All Star game was to see Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and all the other ‘roided freaks battle it out against Ken Griffey Jr. in the Home Run Derby.

Now, as we watch a roster full of names like Evan Longoria, Chase Utley, Dan Uggla – and, well, who cares? — it’s kind of hard to stand by and watch the whole thing.

Evan Longoria just batted, knocked three out of the park in a rather human, boringly pedestrian showing. I want to change the channel desperately, but unfortunately my choices are somehow worse. I say I’ll update who wins tomorrow, but I just don’t think I’ll really care.

Bring back the steroids. It at least made things interesting.