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Carmelo Anthony was pulled over and charged with DUI just the other night, but now more details come trickling out on the story. As fate has it, ‘Melo wasn’t just drunk — he was apparently ridiculously impaired.

When he was asked to take nine steps, heel to toe, then turn around and take another nine steps, he forgot to perform the second half of the maneuver, according to police. CBS4 has also learned that when he was asked to stand on one leg, he swayed, put his foot down and “gave up,” telling an officer, “I don’t have good balance.”

Later, when police were interviewing Anthony, they asked him if he knew where he was. “No clue,” he told police.

The way I see it, he’s a basketball player. And as we all know, basketball players and other major athletes all have terrible balance. It’s a perfectly legitimate excuse.