Cedric Benson is disputing the claim that he resisted arrest, or that he was drunk all together. You’ll remember, Benson was arrested by police when they say he wouldn’t cooperate and take a field sobriety test (which we all know are biased).

According to Cedric, none of it went down like that.

“I was not intoxicated,” Benson told the Chicago Sun-Times. “There was alcohol on the boat and others were enjoying themselves, but I wasn’t drunk.”

“They gave me a field sobriety test, told me to say my ABCs and told me to count from 1 to 4 up and down,” Benson told the Chicago Tribune. “I’m thinking, I passed all the tests, did everything right. Then the officer told me we needed to go to land to take more tests. I politely asked him why we needed to go to land to take more tests when I took every test. Then he sprayed me with mace, on his boat.

“I’m not handcuffed. I’m not under arrest. I’m not threatening him. I’m not pushing him. I’m not touching him. And he sprays me right in my eye.”

Count one through four? ABC’s? Wtf? Seems like an easy sobriety test. Mine was much harder. Unless, of course, you count that I wasn’t maced.