When the whole Chad Johnson Is Leaving The Bengals Thing happened, I figured he was for sure not going to be in a Cincinnati uniform next year. Then no trades happened. Then they vetoed a trade with the Redskins that would have given Cincinnati a first round pick. Then, before you know it, every time that would have been optimal to trade Johnson. . . well, those times had passed.

And now, realizing he’s not completely stupid, he’s decided he’ll return to the Bengals to collect his paycheck.

“If we want to be like Indy and New England, we have to pay and bring in some difference-makers on defense,” Johnson said. “Our offense is fine. But if they’re fussing about paying a guy like me, a guy among the best in the league, you know damn well the Bengals aren’t gonna supply the defense with what it needs. So I just said, ‘If we aren’t gonna do what we need to make us win — can I please leave?’ It’s simple. I just told ‘em: ‘If y’all won’t change, then I have to.’”

If the Bengals need a playmaker on defense, why not just bring back Odell Thurman?