So two out of the three weeks I’ve done terrible. Terrible with a capital T and each syllable really enunciated. Terr-I-Ble. That’s how I’ve been. Last year I started rough Week 1 and Week 2. That’s normal. Week 3, things are supposed to come together. This week I’ve got math on my side. I won’t reveal the secret, but I can promise 60% winners this week.

Last week: 4-12
On the Season: 16-30
Locks of the Week: 2-1

Denver Broncos (-10) @ Kansas City Chiefs: The Broncos offense is on point. And even though their defense isn’t really worth much, it should be alright against Tyler Thigpen or Damon Huard and the Chiefs. Denver covers.

Cleveland Browns (+3.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals: You never bet good money on bad teams. That said, I’ll take the points and the ‘dog. Browns cover, get their first win.

Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-6): Maybe Jacksonville is finally getting something going. Houston has looked lost, and Matt Schaub may be just a few games away from being benched.

Arizona Cardinals @ New York Jets (-1.5): I heard some crazy stat about the Cardinals and what happens to this team when they play out east. I don’t remember the exact stat, but it was really bad, and it showed up last week against Washington. This Jets team isn’t very good, but I’ll take the past and bet on it. Favre, Jets win, cover.

San Francisco 49′ers @ New Orleans Saints (-5.5): The Saints lost two games against good opponents on the road. I think the trip back home will do them well. Saints cover.

Minnesota Vikings @ Tennessee Titans (-3): The Titans haven’t lost against the spread yet. That said, I won’t bet against them until they do. Take Tennessee to cover.

Green Bay Packers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1): The Packers offense struggled against that Dallas D, which isn’t much of a D. Tampa Bay threw the ball 67 times last week, but that won’t happen again. If you lose this game, take your hat off to Rodgers. But you won’t. Lock it up: Bucs win.

Buffalo Bills (-8) @ St. Louis Rams: So, the plan to salvage the Rams season is to start Trent Green? This should be fun. The spread could be 800. Bills cover.

San Diego Chargers (-8) @ Oakland Raiders: The Raiders have looked good against KC and Buffalo. They looked terrible against Denver, who passes. Guess what San Diego’s been doing? Chargers cover, win by 10.

Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys (-11): I saw Washington’s first road game. Sure, they’ve good at home. Let’s see what they do in Dallas. Me thinks it’ll be a blowout. ‘Boys cover.

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) @ Chicago Bears: Well, at least Chicago had that good win against Indy the first game. I think that’ll be a distant memory, and it shouldn’t be long until Sexy Rexy’s back.

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-5): I’d say Pittsburgh covering would be the lock of the week, but. .

-Lock of the Week:

Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers (-6): I love the Falcons. I do. And I won’t bet against them. But since you probably don’t have the same ties and love, rip every dime out of your savings account and bet this one big. Panthers cover, win by 17.