Ron Artest has been traded to Houston. Again, this is late, but I haven’t had the Internet for a week now, and all of this is news to me.

Artest to Houston? Sheez. It’s easy to dog Houston for their constant first round exit, but last year they made noise with just T-Mac and Shane Battier doing all the work. Add in a healthy Yao Ming, a ridiculously-talented-even-if-he-can-be-overbearing Ron Artest, and you have what’s got to be one of the top four teams in the West. This trade doesn’t make them the favorite — you gotta believe it’ll be New Orleans, LA or San Antonio — but I think it puts them right behind those three teams, and not far behind at all.

The picture here is Stephen Jackson, who’s not known for his good citizenship, chugging a bottle of the Belv, probably ready to beat someone’s ass soon after. I don’t really care when the NBA season is over; it’s not something I watch often, and it pretty much just means we’re closer to the start of the NFL season. That said, Indiana not making the playoffs was a good thing — it gives guys like Stephen, J-Tinsley, and Ron Artest an early jump on ruining their image during the off-season.

Charlotte Bobcats 107, Indiana Pacers 103: This probably isn’t the highlight of everyone’s NBA Saturday, but it was mine. With the Hawks gripping a two game lead in the East for the final playoff spot, their last three games are against Boston, Orlando, and Miami. Indiana, who’s two games back, has Charlotte at home, at Washington, and New York at home to close the season. The Hawks lost to Boston, and beating Orlando will be tough. Thankfully, though, Indiana seems to be worse down the stretch than the lowly Hawks. The Pacers had Charlotte at home, a perfect opportunity to gain one on the Hawks, and choked it up. Danny Granger had 37 points for the Pacers, but it wasn’t enough to stop a well balanced Bobcats team (that almost sounds like an oxy-moron), who were led by Jason Richardson’s 26 points. Jermaine O’Neal played 20 minutes for the Pacers, getting seven points and five rebounds. The Hawks magic number is now down to one.

Boston Celtics 99, Hawks 89: When you look at their final three games, and figure how they’re going to clinch, you don’t really chalk this one up as a W. I’m a Hawks fan, and I’ve been stuck with many, many years of terrible teams, so this year I’m not getting any hopes up for the playoffs; that said, I can’t blame them for losing to a team that has far better talent and players. All five Hawks players scored in double digits, led by Joe Johnson’s 21, but KG had 24 points for the Celtics, and Sam Cassell came off the bench to add 20. It was Boston’s 64th win of the season.

Denver Nuggets 97, Utah Jazz 124: A couple of days ago, Denver had a two game lead after beating the Warriors. A couple of days later, their tied with the Warriors, and what was looking like their playoff spot to be had suddenly looks like something they’re losing their grip on. It was a three point Jazz lead at the half, but Utah outscored Denver 62-38 in the second half, showing why they’re one of the best teams in the NBA when they’re playing at home. Carlos Boozer, Ronnie Brewer, Mehmet Okur all finished with 20 points for the Jazz, and Deron Williams finished with 19. Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson combined to score 50 points in the losing effort.

New Orleans Hornets 91, Sacramento Kings 94: The loss puts the Lakers and Hornets tied for first, and the Spurs are only half a game back. I can’t remember the last time three teams were this close to winning the West this far into the season, but it’s making the NBA season fun to watch.

LA Clippers 116, Golden State Warriors 122: Read above about the Warriors and Nuggets: They’re now tied for eighth place, though Denver does take the tiebreaker. Let me ask you this: If you’re LA, New Orleans, or San Antonio, and you finish first in the West, who would you rather play: The Warriors, who beat the Mavs in Round 1 last year, or the Nuggets, who often choke in the playoffs?

Atlanta Hawks 98, Indiana Pacers 112: Mike Dunleavy dropped 28 points for the Pacers, and Jermaine O’Neal had 10 points in his return, as the Indiana Pacers beat the Hawks to help avoid playoff elimination. Both teams have four games left; the Hawks play Boston, Orlando, New York and Miami, and Indiana faces off against Philadelphia, Charlotte, Washington and New York. It’ll be hard for Atlanta to blow this, but don’t put anything past them. They are, after all, the Hawks.

Utah Jazz 77, New Orleans Hornets 66: Chris Paul had four points and nine assists on 2-11 shooting. Peja led all Hornets players with 15 points. The Hornets shot 36 percent from the field, and only 21 perecent from beyond the arch. With the loss, the Hornets still hold the best record in the West, and can avoid having to play Dallas in the first round, which, I assure you, will give San Antonio serious problems should they meet then.

Boston Celtics 107, Milwaukee Bucks 104: Go, Boston, go. Next up for the Celtics: Chewing through the Hawks in Round 1 of the playoffs like they’re some kind of super buzzsaw.

Phoenix Suns 127, Memphis Grizzlies 113: The Suns are starting to win with Shaq, and like the ongoing theme in the West, are going to make the third ranked team seriously mad that they’ll have to play these guys in Round 1. If you’re the No. 1 seed, you play Denver. No. 2 seed, you play Dallas. No. 3 seed, you play Phoenix. Compare that to out East, where the No. 1 seed gets Atlanta, the No. 2 seed gets Toronto, and the No. 3 seed gets Philadelphia. The question of “Who’s more battle tested?” when they get to the Finals won’t be a hard one to answer.

Sacramento Kings 132, Golden State Warriors 140: Nelly’s still alive, and so are his Warriors. The game didn’t feature a whole ton of fundamental defense, but it did feature a lot of up-and-down game with multiple guys scoring multiple points. Both teams featured six players in double digits, led by Baron Davis’ 33 points. Golden State is tied with Denver, but the Nuggets hold the tie-breaker.

Denver Nuggets 117, LA Clippers 99: Keeping pace, Denver. Keeping pace.

Houston Rockets 95, Portland Trail Blazers 86: Tracy McGrady scored 35 points, 26 of which came in the second half, helping Houston push its way to victory against the Trail Blazers. “There’s going to be a team that wins 50 games and doesn’t make the playoffs,” he said. “So it’s a battle out there. I love it.” Houston has a four game lead over the Nuggets, who currently hold the final eighth spot. Houston plays Seattle twice and the Clippers twice, giving them arguably the easiest schedule of teams aiming for the playoffs. Their remaining three games are at Denver, at Utah, and Phoenix at home.

LA Clippers 98, Sacramento Kings 110: Can someone please get Elton Brand out of LA? Or at least send him to that other team in LA? The Clippers lost again, will again have a lotto pick this summer, and again will be bad next year, barring some kind of miraculous turnaround/huge pickup in free agency. The Kings, who are slowly approaching .500 ball, were led by Kevin Martin’s 26 points.

Chicago Bulls 101, Cleveland Cavaliers 98: LBJ had 33 points for the Cavs, but the rest of Cleveland didn’t do much to show up. Since the Cavs acquired Ben Wallace in the trade, they’re only 10-10, and only three of those wins are against current playoff teams.

With no football games, it’s hard to gamble, so, thankfully, we can throw our money away on NBA games that can really go either way. But it’s entertaining, right? And, in short, that’s the main reason we gamble. We don’t do it to win or lose — we do it because it takes an otherwise boring chunk of the night and becomes very, very entertaining, even if the entertainment is accompanied with many hours of grief afterwards. Enjoy my picks. I’m the best.

Last Night: 3-2
On the Season: 41-40-1
How I feel: Finally over .500

Tonight’s Spreads:

Chicago Bulls @ Cleveland Cavaliers (-7): I’m real tempted to take the Bulls here, given that they rested last night and the Cavs were on the road in a close one, but then reality sets in: Chicago stinks, despite what we thought at the beginning of the year, and Cleveland’s pretty good. At covering, too.

LA Clippers @ Sacramento Kings (-8): Tonight feels like a night of picking the home teams.

Houston Rockets (-5) @ Portland Trail Blazers: Check that statement. Go with the Rockets.

New Orlenans Hornets 98, Orlando Magic 97: Peja Stojakovic had hit a three point field goal in 35 consecutive games, and was in danger of not making it to No. 36, until the final minute where he nailed two threes, one to win the game, catapulting the Hornets to victory. Chris Paul had 19 points and 12 assists for the Hornets.

Phoenix Suns 120, Denver Nuggets 126: The standings in the West are getting awful hazy, and this one didn’t help any. The win puts Denver in the eighth and final spot, just a half game ahead of Golden State, and puts the Mavericks that much closer to not making the playoffs (they’re currently a half game ahead of Denver, and only one game ahead of Golden State). The Warriors and Mavs face-off tonight, and if last year was any indication, that’s something the people of Dallas don’t want to see in their final eight games.

Philadelphia 76′ers 108, New Jersey Nets 99: Philadelphia is now one game above .500 for the first time in forever, and the Nets are quickly falling their way out of playoff contention. The Hawks now have a 3 1/2 game lead over the struggling Nets, but it doesn’t really matter: Whoever does get in, you see, plays the Celtics. And whoever plays the Celtics, you see, will be swept.

Sacramento Kings 99, Houston Rockets 98: After the Rockets won 22 straight games, they’ve now dropped five of their last nine. It’s nice to peak in the middle of the season to make sure you make the playoffs, but it’s not good time to go through one of your worst dry-spells heading into May.

With no football games, it’s hard to gamble, so, thankfully, we can throw our money away on NBA games that can really go either way. But it’s entertaining, right? And, in short, that’s the main reason we gamble. We don’t do it to win or lose — we do it because it takes an otherwise boring chunk of the night and becomes very, very entertaining, even if the entertainment is accompanied with many hours of grief afterwards. Enjoy my picks. I’m the best.

On The Season: 25-28-1 Against The Spread

Philadelphia 76′ers @ Boston Celtics (-10): Take this one. Take it all day. Boston wins by a hundred.

New Jersey Nets (+2) @ New York Knicks: Rule of betting basketball: Don’t bet on the Knicks. It’s won me money for the most part, so I’m sticking to it.

Milwaukee Bucks(+1) @ Miami Heat: That rule mentioned above, it’s starting to apply to the Heat. When the two teams play together, it’ll be an interesting coin flip.

Phoenix Suns @ Detroit Pistons(-3): Detroit plays defense. Phoenix is still trying to figure that one out. And though the team is doing much better with Shaq now, I like the Pistons at home.

Denver Nuggets (-7) @ Memphis Grizzlies: Denver’s been on a tear, and AI and ‘Melo are finally starting to click together. Memphis, meanwhile, is heading for the lottery, and wondering where yet another year has gone.

Sacramento Kings @ Houston Rockets (-7): Let’s start another streak, people. This team was easy money, and we need it to get back that way.

Portland Trail Blazers @ Seattle Supersonics (+9): There’s not a team I’ve been more burnt by than the Trail Blazers. They’re a tempting team to pick, but when I ride ‘em I die with ‘em. Seattle’s no stellar team, but I’ll take the eight at home and run with it.

Los Angeles Lakers (-2) @ Golden State: Eh. Probably a toss up. But I like Kobe after losing and struggling the night before.

With no football games, it’s hard to gamble, so, thankfully, we can throw our money away on NBA games that can really go either way. But it’s entertaining, right? And, in short, that’s the main reason we gamble. We don’t do it to win or lose — we do it because it takes an otherwise boring chunk of the night and becomes very, very entertaining, even if the entertainment is accompanied with many hours of grief afterwards. Enjoy my picks. I’m the best.

Last night: 3-5
On the season: 16-21-1

Tonight’s games:

Denver Nuggets @ Detroit (-6): I want to pick the Nuggets, but based on my recent success, I’m going opposite. Take the Pistons.

Miami @ Milwaukee (-5): It’s a bad NBA season when every game, you say, “Wow, I don’t want to bet on either of those teams.” This is one of those, but take the Bucks.

New Jersey Nets @ Chicago (+6): Six points at home. Why not?

LA Lakers (+5) @ Dallas Mavericks: Last time these two played in Dallas, the Lakers won in OT. So I’ll take five points now and feel pretty safe about it.

Boston Celtics (-1) @ Houston Rockets: I just want to say I was the one that called the end of the infamous streak.

Golden State Warriors (-1) @ Sacramento Kings: Eh. I like the Warriors.

Phoenix Suns (-3) @ Portland Trail Blazers: If you’ve kept up, you know every time I bet the Blazers I lose. Let’s hope every time I bet against them isn’t a similar outcome.

Indiana Pacers 111, Orlando Magic 122: Orlando Magic clinched a playoff spot — this should be some indication of just how bad the East really is — riding the efforts of Hedo Turkoglu (27 points), Rashard Lewis (22), Maurice Evans (19), Dwight Howard (18), and Keith Bogans off the bench (11). The Pacers droped to 25-41, and are still only three games out of the 8-spot in the East, giving you a final indiciation of just how bad the Conference really is.

San Antonio Spurs 96, Philadelphia 76′ers 103: It’s hard to imagine the Sixers are really putting a run together, but the Sixers are really putting a run together. Andre Miller had 32 points and the other Andre, Andre Iguodala, chipped in 25 points to help give Philly their ninth win in 11 tries. Tony Parker and Manu Ginobli combined for 49 points for the Spurs.

Los Angeles Clippers, Washington Wizards 119: Antwan Jamison brought the Wizards back when down four points with only seven seconds to play. Jamison hit a three-pointer with 4.5 seconds left to cut the Clips lead to one point (98-97). Tim Thomas then hit two free throws to give the Clips a three point lead, and then Jamison hit another three, sending the game into overtime. He finished with 36 points, and helped the Wizards avoid a humiliating defeat to the worst team in the NBA (and even if their record says that, I still say it’s much more a disgrace to lose to the Knicks).

Sacramento Kings 99, Phoenix Suns 127: Shaquille O’Neal looked like his old self, scoring 17 points and grabbing eight boards for the Suns. Well, maybe not old self, but better than what they’ve gotten. Amare Stoudemire led the Suns with 30 points.