I’m aware this is all special effects. But it’s still cool. And if it was real, Chris Cooley would get laid whenever he wanted. How many other tight ends can break through two sheets of drywall and catch a ball with little ease?

I’m not somebody that really cares about draft grades the day after a draft — how many times have these so-called “experts” been wrong in the past? — but since NFL is officially over, and since we’re stuck with a few boring NBA series right now and 145 more MLB games, I figure I may as well milk this post for what it’s worth.

It’s the last time we’ll be discussing the NFL until a Bengals player gets arrested in the offseason.

How’d your team do over the weekend? I’ve got lots of different opinions from lots of different people. Click here and you can see how Pete Prisco of CBS Sportsline rates the picks; click here to see how Larry Weisman, writer for USA Today, breaks down all seven rounds. Clifton Brown, writer for Sporting News Today, has his take here; for Yahoo! Sports, go here.

I’d give you Todd McShay or Mel Kiper, Jr., but they’re douche bags and charge you $39.95 a year for their services — if I could charge everyone $39.95 to be completely wrong about how a player will turn out, I would. McShay isn’t that bad, but Kiper’s looked like a weatherman with some of his recent predictions.

Enjoy the grades. They mean nothing. At the end of the day, Calvin Johnson has to catch Matthew Stafford’s passes, and DHB wasn’t a stretch by Oakland until he officially busts in Oakland. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I’m counting down to September. Fall, you couldn’t get here soon enough.

ESPN has a nice little piece on each team’s strength of schedule for 2009. It also notes that if you went from worst to first in the NFC South, then you’re pretty much screwed (see: Falcons, who have the fourth hardest schedule this year, with opponents’ records being a combined 150-105).

An interesting note: The Cardinals, who made the Super Bowl, have the 27th hardest schedule, or sixth easiest next year; the Minnesota Vikings, who won their division and played a first round playoff game at home, have the second easiest schedule. The Patriots, who missed the playoffs, have the third easiest schedule.

You can see all teams here. With the addition of Jay Cutler, and with the easiest schedule in the NFL, it looks as if the Bears might have an easy ride to the playoffs next year.

[ESPN]

ESPN is reporting that Jason Taylor, the Miami Dolphins’ all-time sack leader, has been speaking with the team, and may be heading back that way shortly.

Jason Taylor played his entire career with the Dolphins, and then went to the Washington Redskins last year, where he had 29 tackles, one forced fumble, and 3.5 sacks. Channing Crowder and Joey Porter, both currently with the Dolphins, have expressed interest in him coming back.

[ESPN]

The Cowboys cut T.O. Given last year, probably a good move. The T.O. sweepstakes have begun, only it appears there’s less bidders for him than there was for Manny Ramirez. Early rumors had him going to Cleveland, which isn’t happening. Then the Giants, and that’s not happening (though I gotta say: if you put him and Plax with that offensive line and Brandon Jacobs, you’d probably get another Super Bowl).

Over the next couple of days, I’m sure we’ll hear of seven or eight teams, none of which will be very serious, and then he’ll land with the Patriots, and Tom Brady will beak his own ridiculous touchdown record.

[Cowboys Cut T.O.]
[ESPN]

The Redskins didn’t bid for a single free agent last year, and felt it was necessary to make up for last year’s lack of bidding by really upping things this year. They signed Albert Haynesworth to a 7 year, $100 million contract, with $41 million in guaranteed money.

To add to that, they also signed DeAngelo Hall for a 6 year, $54 million deal, a year after he signed a 7 year, $70 million deal with Oakland.

I’ve noted many times that the NFL Combine is the most overrated event in sports when it comes to gauging talent, yet every year I get caught up in what a guy runs or what a guy jumps or what a guy throws (combine studs that probably went a bit high: JaMarcus Russell, Donte Stallworth, and just last year, Vernon Gholston).

That said, via The Big Lead, here’s some guys that impressed, and some guys that didn’t. A couple of notables on my end, from what I’ve seen on NFL Network:

Pat White, QB/WR: He ran an unofficial time of 4.49 in the 40, and then it was adjusted to a 4.55. He also jumped a solid nine feet in the broad jump, which is real important once you’re actually in the game. I know I often see guys stand in place, squat, and leap as far forward as possible. Like I said: Great gauge at talent.

Darius Heyward-Bey, WR: This guy was being talked about as a second rounder, but after running a 4.3 flat, he’s probably going to end up cracking the top 15. Michael Crabtree is still “the guy” when it comes to receivers, but Heyward-Bey is sure creeping up.

Derrick Anderson, WR: This is the guy that I think will be a solid NFL player — probably a good number two receiver — but his 4.58 40 will have schools not paying attention to whether or not he can run a route and catch the ball, and just say he’s too slow to play.

Beanie Wells, RB: I can’t tell if a 4.59 40 is good or bad for him. On one side, it’s slower than most strong safeties. But he’s 235 pounds, and at that size, how fast do you want him to run?

[The Big Lead]
Getting Listy With The Combine

Philly can still make the playoffs, but this loss definitely hurts. It’s got shades of the Titans/Rams Super Bowl where the Titans came up a yard short.

Here’s how I’m doing against Vegas this year. Sorry for the abbreviated run down again this week, but I’ve got a real time crunch with work and Christmas coming up. Enjoy the picks.

Last Week: 7-6
On the Season: 115-100
Locks of the Week: 14-6

Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+6)
Baltimore Ravens @ Dallas Cowboys (-4)
Pittsburgh Steelers (-2) @ Tennessee Titans
Miami Dolphins (-4) @ KC Chiefs
Arizona Cardinals @ New England Patriots (-7)
Cincinnati Bengals (+3) @ Cleveland Browns
Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins (+5)
SF 49′ers @ St. Louis Rams (+5.5)
Atlanta Falcons (+3) @ Minnesota Vikings
New Orleans Saints (-7) @ Detroit Lions
Carolina Panthers @ New York Giants (-3)
New York Jets (-4) @ Seattle Seahawks
Houston Texans (-7) @ Oakland Raiders
Buffalo Bills @ Denver Broncos (-6.5)
San Diego Chargers @ Tampa Bay Bucs (-3)
Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears (-4)

The NFL Pro Bowl rosters have been announced, and like every year when these things are announced, there’s already a big uproar of who’s been snubbed and who doesn’t deserve to be there. You can get both the NFC and AFC starting rosters here and figure out who you think got snubbed.

To know who deserved to go at every position I’d have to be some kind of NFL machine. As much as I love the NFL, I couldn’t tell you if every guy picked deserved to be there or not. That said, here’s just a couple of snubs that jump out at me.

-John Abraham: He’s probably the biggest snub I see. The guy has 15.5 sacks and is the only reason Atlanta’s defense has been decent (if you look at that roster, their next best defensive player is Curtis Lofton, a rookie, or Lawyer Milloy, a 36 year-old). He had three sacks against the Bucs, and one of them came in overtime to help Matt Ryan and the offense get the ball in good field position to set up the winning field goal.

Brandon Jacobs: Maybe he doesn’t have the stats and yards of the other guys. But the Giants were 11-1 with that guy in the roster, and we all saw Sunday night what happens when that guy goes out. He’s the most important player to his team, and he’s the oil that helps run that offensive machine.

DeAngelo Williams: This one deserves an asterisk, because it’s not like you can take out AP, Michael Turner, or Clinton Portis. But the guy had a killer year.

Haloti Ngata: Big reason the Ravens D is back to being the Ravens D. He anchors that defensive line.

Brett Favre: This isn’t a snub. He actually made it in. How in the hell did Brett Favre make the Pro Bowl? This is another reason the NFL shouldn’t let fan votes. Every no-nothing football fan votes for Favre because they know him. Favre should give his ticket to Matt Cassel.

Calvin Johnson: He’s playing on the worst team maybe in the history of the league. He’s had four different starting quarterbacks. He’s still got 1,165 yards, 10 touchdowns, and is averaging 17.9 yards per catch. He’s Randy Moss, only there’s no players around him. A team would get a steal if they could somehow trade for this guy in the off-season.