. . . The Miami Dolphins select University of Michigan offensive tackle, Jake Long.

It’s official. The first bit of suspense for the NFL draft has been buzzkilled, now that Bill Parcells has signed the former Michigan standout as his first overall selection in 2008. It’s a pretty wise selection, if you ask me, given what is out there and what’s safest with the first pick. He’s huge, he’s quick, and he reminds a lot of people of Joe Thomas, one of the best rookies from last year’s crop. The problem is, when you mention big and quick, you’re also immediately reminded of Robert Gallery who, I might add, wasn’t one of the better rookies in his class, and that’s putting it lightly.

Hoo-raw to Parcells for making the pick; 20 bucks says the Dolphins still take their full 15 minutes before announcing it on Saturday.

I’ve been eagerly awaiting Pacman Jones’ return to the field (that’ll give us plenty of victory parties and strip club stories to hear about) since the day he was suspended, feeling that the NFL is a little less without such a charismatic, genuine, electrifying player that is Pacman.

I’d be lying if I told you I’ve been looking forward to Odell Thurman’s return as much as Pacman’s, but it has been high up there on my calendar of Great Upcoming Events.

Anyway, Odell’s back, better than ever, and ready to step into the prison stripes that is the Cincinnati Bengals uniform.

“Odell has met the NFL’s conditions for reinstatement and has been added to our offseason roster,” Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis said. “It is now up to Odell to continue to meet all NFL guidelines, and to maintain a standard of personal responsibility that will allow him the chance to compete for a spot on our team.”

I tried to dig up the ol’ Youtube video of Odell Thurman sadly failing his sobriety test, but was about as unsuccesful as he was walking a straight line. And I’d like to see it again; if you remember, that was Chris Henry puking out the back. Those were the days. Those were the days.

Derrick Rose was a super freshman who was thought to be a top five pick, and after his ridiculous tournament (avergaing 20 per game), is a super freshman thought to be the first pick.

He’s announced he’s foregoing his final three years at Memphis to enter the NBA, and why not? The kid’s good, he can turn around a team quickly — kind of like Mike Conley did with Memphis (pft) — and, apparently, he’s a pretty good kid with his head screwed on tight.

At any rate, you have to hope the kid is drafted by a team that teaches free throws, which, as seen throughout the season, Calipari clearly doesn’t.

UCLA has been to what seems like 80 Final Fours in a row — it’s the main reason I picked them to win it; they were the safest bet — but that may be ending as soon as next year. Kevin Love and Darren Collison have both entered their names into the NBA Draft, according to ESPN.

Karen Love, Kevin’s mother, isn’t so sure of the report.

“The report is wrong because he hasn’t made his decision yet,” Karen Love said, according to The Oregonian. “He’s coming home this week, and we’ll sit down and talk about it as a family, just like we’ve said all along. Honestly, that’s the truth.”

We know how this goes in sports. A report comes out that a guy’s leaving school early, the guy or the guy’s family denies it like crazy, and a week later they come out of school early. So, UCLA fans who are hoping that Karen Love is right, don’t hold your breath.

Oh, and in more disappointing news, Russell Westbrook, their star sophomore and only player who showed up against Memphis, is reportedly leaving as well.

Remember the woman that had the kind of random assault accusation aimed at Randy Moss? Well, it never really went anywhere, she didn’t get the money I’m guessing she expected, and the whole thing has been dropped.

A woman who obtained a restraining order earlier this year in a domestic violence case against New England Patriots star Randy Moss wants the case dismissed, court records show.

Rachelle Washington, 35, filed papers March 3 with the Broward County Circuit Court clerk’s office requesting that the order be dissolved and the case closed. The restraining order had required the All-Pro wide receiver to stay at least 500 feet from Washington.

Now the star wide receiver will be able to play this year knowing his name and reputation are no longer tarnished. Well, maybe not exactly “not tarnished,” but not “as tarnished.”

It’s that time of year again when NFL Scouts drool over a player’s leaping and running ability more than anything else. What the guy did in college doesn’t matter; if he can’t run a 4.2 and cut on a dime, he won’t make it in the NFL.

Such is the overrated hype of the NFL Combine, an event that has become more circus than spectacle.

This year will surely produce some guys that aren’t that good but be drafted and paid as if they’re the next big thing. It happens every year. Some guy runs fast (Donte Stallworth, who wasn’t a bust, but isn’t top 10 material), some guy throws far (Kyle Boller), some guy seems really agile as an offensive lineman (Robert Gallery), or some linebacker shows freak stats all the way around (LaVar Arrington).

I have a sleeper for this year’s Got Picked Way Too High Award. DeShawn Jackson, who’s sure to run a 4.3 or better, and because of his punt returning ability, will slide his way up into the top 15.

This thing kicks off Wednesday. From there we’ll watch guys rise and watch guys fall, all on the basis of numbers that don’t matter. But it does help keep us busy until next season, and with Spygate dying down, it’ll have to do.

The moment Zach Thomas was cut, I knew it. I knew the visit with the Cowboys was a hoax, and that any other team interested wouldn’t land the guy. I knew, deep down, that someone once great and now at the tail end of the career, who happens to play the linebacker position, would end up in New England.

“We had a great visit in New England,” Thomas’ agent, Drew Rosenhaus, told The Miami Herald in a text message Monday evening. “They offered him a contract and we will continue negotiations.”

Add him to the annoying list of Teddy Bruschi and Junior Seau — guys that are past their primes, shouldn’t be good, and yet still make plays.

Of course, given that you know what play the offense is calling, that may not be all that difficult.

Happy Valentine’s Day; it seems appropriate.

I’m sure you all know the Don Mattingly story by now, and here’s the mugshot of his wife that was taken off in handcuffs. Most people don’t do their hair and makeup before a mugshot, but she may want to consider it for next time.

Donovan McNabb, who was once considered one of the better players in the NFL, and also considered quite the teammate, already has some off-season complaints. And he wants to see it rectified.

Speaking on his blog, McNabb made it clear he wants the direction in Philadelphia to change, and, though he probably wasn’t meaning to insult his teammates, insults his teammates.

“Now that the season is over and we are concentrating on 2008, I hope we are able to secure some playmakers in all three phases of the game,” McNabb wrote in his Monday posting. “Maybe some of those playmakers are already on the roster but have struggled with injuries, myself included, that have held us back a little.”

Translation: We don’t have enough playmakers, my wide receivers stink, and I want more. Andy Reid said he hadn’t heard the comments from McNabb, but echoed that anyone who says something like that should be careful because “those are your teammates that are being replaced.”

I’m not one to lobby for certain players to go to certain teams, but the comedic side of me would love Philly reunite with this guy.